Remember when Lee Hanson had me on that cruise ship in Mystral Murder? There were two women on that ship, Cathy Byrne and Adrienne Paradis, who were “frenemies”. Of course, as a body language expert, I caught that immediately! In real life it’s not so easy to spot a friendly enemy - and trust me - if you’re a woman, you probably have one.
Personally, I think the term ‘enemy’ is too strong. Let’s just say that this female friend doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. For instance: You know that you can’t trust her with a secret… she’s guaranteed to tell someone. She’ll root for you to lose weight… but secretly wants you to weigh more that she does. She’ll look up your house value on Zillow… and smile when she sees a higher value on hers.
You’re already thinking of someone, aren’t you? I’ll bet it’s not the first time, either. Have you ever wondered why you continue such a relationship?
Don’t blame yourself. The root cause is cultural and biological. It stems from the time men hunted together and women were simply thrown together back at the camp. Men were programmed to work together as a team, while women were programmed to compete with each other for male attention and position in the tribe.
Hence, our society… one that glorifies football players and their teams… and makes a lot of women, individually, feel like they’re never pretty enough, slim enough, or worthy enough.
So, go ahead and love your frenemy. She’s not dealing with it as well as you are…